Frequently Asked Questions
People who stand at bus stops for ten minutes then start fiddling with change when they get on.
People who never answer their e-mails.
TV shows about decorating or gardening.
Websites with Flash intros.
Getting chased by cows.
Pink marble type stuff you get in hotel bathrooms.
Doing my accounts.
Getting dragged around women's clothes shops.
Romantic comedy movies.
Anyone lacking the basic sense to realise that Arsenal are the gretest football team in the world.
People talking about what they'll do when they win the lottery.
People who say that Harry Potter is the best book in the world when it's the only thing they've ever read.
Kids who go psycho and trash the CHERUB forum.
Poncy restaurants where you pay £100 per head for tiny portions of food and you end up having to buy a hamburger on the way home.
People who do big lists of things they like and dislike because they think it's clever and funny.
For News And Information
22 Nov 2017
In symmetrical news, my agent
just worked out that I've been published for 13.5 years and have sold 13.5 million books!